Not what I thought was intended, but sooo much better.

I am in the beautiful desert of Arizona. The ranch is amazing. The people are even more amazing. I'm am in awe and humbled by everything around me.

My intention in coming here was to learn how to facilitate these peer groups and how to get a group up and running in Dayton.

Don't you love it when there is another plan for you that you don't realize until you are waist deep in and can't get out.

I didn't realize I had my own stuff to process. So now I am throwing myself into the process.

I have this saying I have lectured many others with. You can't fill anyone else's tea cup if your pot is empty. I didn't realize how low my pot had become. I guess I'm here to fill it.

This is really hard for me to do, talk about what I went through in the military. At least the bad stuff. The shadow stuff.

One of my new friends here (and I'm sure soon they'll be frimily) told me last night, "How can you help others if you're not willing to help yourself"

Thank you for the 2x4.

Breakfast bell. Pictures to come.

Nervous

I'm very VERY nervous. I'm worried about whether I'll be accepted at the Vets4Vets leadership weekend THIS weekened, by the others. I'm worried about the heat. I'm worried about what I can bring to this group of amazing people. I feel like I'm getting ready for the first day of new school again.

I never got to go over There. I was pregnant when my unit was asking for volunteers and shipping people over. Unfortunately that was one of the miscarriages. My troop never come home. I never got another opportunity as I got out of the military so that we could start a family. It broke my heart.

So here I will be, trying to help other soldiers through something I've never been through. I will never truly be able to understand and I accept that. But can they accept that? And accept me for what I am trying to do? And allow me to use the gifts I do have to help them with whatever I can help them with.

I guess we will see.

Excited

I'm off to Tuscon in just under two weeks and am excited about what I'll learn not only to bring back to the local area but about myself as well.

I have been allowing the challenges of life in our current economic status interfere with my goals and plans.

Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal...isn't that the quote.

So back to my list of possible local places to contact:

Glen Helen
Metroparks
Local farmers
MVUUF
VA (again)

The idea is to get some local involvement and support to give these soldiers a space in which to create and grow.