Gathering information

So for now I am focusing on V4V as a small step to get me the experience needed to create Hearthstone as well as helping and networking with some absolutely amazing people. Most of the posts from here on may be mostly about V4V and my experiences with them for a while.

So I've broken it down and figured out I need to do the following:

Step 1 - Make contact with individuals; Raise seed money; Rind permanent location for meetings; Learn how to work the media

Step 2 - Organize social events; Start one on ones; Publicity; Banner??

Step 3 - Start group meetings; Fundraisers; Social events; Retreat

Step 4 - House Party Fundraiser (around election time??); Activities to keep momentum

Possible Networking Events
Air Force Marathon
Homecomings

Contacts to follow up on
AmVets
Operation HomeFront
Vet Affairs WSU
Sara Landess; Clark State University
Mary Childs; Sinclair

Need to go in person
VA Office OIF/OEF Clinic
Goodwill Services

I really need someone to teach me about press releases and working with the media as well as fundraising. We'll see how it goes.

Thrown in the deep end

I'm practically speechless. I've had to take some time away from everyone to process. The methodology that V4V uses really works. And can work for any group.

So what just happened? That is the big question that I'm having trouble answering. I think the biggest part was that I had my own denial stand up and bitchslap me. Denial about I went through, what my own perceptions and behaviors are, and how I react and interact with others. I may have been deluding myself. I may have been fooling myself into thinking that I was doing this to help my brothers and sisters, my family because I can't just abandon them. Is it possible that I'm doing this to heal myself?? That is a very feasible possibility.

Some of the things that have come up:

I have to reclaim myself as a woman and not be "one of the boys". I can't ignore the fact that I am an emotional person and that it is ok to exhibit that in front of others. I hate crying in front of other people. It embarrasses me and I feel weak and vulnerable. I. Hate. Feeling. Vulnerable. But I have to let that happen as it is part of the process here.

Though I have never been overseas I have had my own experience related the war. They are valid and authentic and worth something. I have been belittling myself for it.

Survivors Guilt and feeling like I abandoned my troops.

I am trying to find a way of changing how I perceive the work I'm trying to accomplish as being insignificant when compared to the incredible work the people who are also here at the leadership retreat. OMG...homeless vets, student vets, disable vets.

Thinking that I may not be able to belong to this group nor connect with them because I wasn't sent overseas.

And that was just this morning.

I'm going to be very raw by the time I come home.

Not what I thought was intended, but sooo much better.

I am in the beautiful desert of Arizona. The ranch is amazing. The people are even more amazing. I'm am in awe and humbled by everything around me.

My intention in coming here was to learn how to facilitate these peer groups and how to get a group up and running in Dayton.

Don't you love it when there is another plan for you that you don't realize until you are waist deep in and can't get out.

I didn't realize I had my own stuff to process. So now I am throwing myself into the process.

I have this saying I have lectured many others with. You can't fill anyone else's tea cup if your pot is empty. I didn't realize how low my pot had become. I guess I'm here to fill it.

This is really hard for me to do, talk about what I went through in the military. At least the bad stuff. The shadow stuff.

One of my new friends here (and I'm sure soon they'll be frimily) told me last night, "How can you help others if you're not willing to help yourself"

Thank you for the 2x4.

Breakfast bell. Pictures to come.

Nervous

I'm very VERY nervous. I'm worried about whether I'll be accepted at the Vets4Vets leadership weekend THIS weekened, by the others. I'm worried about the heat. I'm worried about what I can bring to this group of amazing people. I feel like I'm getting ready for the first day of new school again.

I never got to go over There. I was pregnant when my unit was asking for volunteers and shipping people over. Unfortunately that was one of the miscarriages. My troop never come home. I never got another opportunity as I got out of the military so that we could start a family. It broke my heart.

So here I will be, trying to help other soldiers through something I've never been through. I will never truly be able to understand and I accept that. But can they accept that? And accept me for what I am trying to do? And allow me to use the gifts I do have to help them with whatever I can help them with.

I guess we will see.

Excited

I'm off to Tuscon in just under two weeks and am excited about what I'll learn not only to bring back to the local area but about myself as well.

I have been allowing the challenges of life in our current economic status interfere with my goals and plans.

Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal...isn't that the quote.

So back to my list of possible local places to contact:

Glen Helen
Metroparks
Local farmers
MVUUF
VA (again)

The idea is to get some local involvement and support to give these soldiers a space in which to create and grow.

Vets4Vets on NBC Nighly News

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Disappointment

No one showed up for Saturday's meeting. Very disappointed and slightly discouraged but not too devistated. I knew it was a possibility. So I'm going to wait until the end of June and try again. Going to add more versital adverstisement. Am contemplating approaching Wright Patt's BH faculty to see if they are willing to simply diseminate information about the program. I'm nervous about that approach but we shall see.

Regrouping and handling other life affairs but not giving up.

Update

Things have been both busy and quiet. I've put the flyers out for the get together on Saturday. We'll see if there is any turn out. That is what I'm worried about the most, that no one shows up. I'm not sure what more I could have done besides: send out emails to VA groups; hand flyers to individuals; place ads in networking sites and in paper; hang flyers in the local campuses. I guess we'll have to wait and see.


I am looking forward to the summer festival I'm working at in June as medic. I hope to be able to talk with some of the land owners there about how they would feel about hosting a weekend event for veterans. I am both positive and apprehensive about the idea of applying my "Nature Idea," as a friend puts it, to the real world. It probably wouldn't be this summer, but perhaps next.

I need to go talk to some of the local co-op farms to see if it is possible to have a small group come out and help on a regular basis and see what programs Glen Helen and the Metroparks have. There is still a lot of research to do on a broad scale but I've decided to scale it back for the time being and try a smaller more local approach.

Adapt and overcome. Baby steps and all that.

Now to acquire a winning lotto ticket.

The Flyer

Got a location, time and date!

So I have arranged for an informal meet and greet in order to talk to people about Vets4Vets and hand out information, gather information and whatnot.

Location: Donatos in Page Manor off of Airway next to Wright Patt AFB
Date: May 16th
Time: 1pm - 4 pm

Next is to make the flyers and post them everywhere!

Guess I was on a roll today with this.

Small Steps Forward

Today I had a meeting with a friend of mine about writing grants. I'm not at the point where I can take that step yet though. She did point me in the right direction. Small steps that lead to a bigger goal. I'm excited.









One the Vet4Vet front I will be going to their training session in Arizona the last weekend in July. I'm very excited to meet everyone and learning as much as I can.

Contacts Made

Today I made contact with the Blue Star Mothers completely by chance. They loved the premise behind what I was doing and especially the local Vets4Vets group. I am still securing a location and a time for the meeting though. I do have the beginnings of a flyer going and will complete that tonight, minus the date and location of the meetings.

I have made arrangements to talk to someone about grants and the whatnot. Maybe by knowing what they want and are looking for in the way of requirements I can focus my research a little bit more. I have to try to remember I am not creating treatment plans but the environment. So instead of reading whatever I can about PTSD and soldiers and history, etc I need to focus on community development.

You can not heal other people, you can only heal yourself until your presence is healing.

Sick but productive

Even though I was sick as a dog today I got a few things done. I set up an email address and facebook address for the Vets4Vets Dayton area group.

vets4vetsdayton@gmail.com
Facebook: VetsforVets Dayton
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=1226207468&ref=name

I've also been compiling contact information for various veteran organizations and resources throughout the Dayton/Columbus/Cincinnati area. So far I have probably nine pages of information that I need to go through.

I had the idea of the first meeting be more of a meet and greet where people get to shake hands and get a feel for each other than an actual official meeting. Maybe a bbq at a park? We'll see. Don't want to think too much about food right now though. Ugh. I hate being sick.

You never know until you try

Tuesday I followed my own advice of "you never know until you try". I had been aware of Vets 4 Vets program (www.vets4vets.com) for a while but didn't think I'd qualify to start/lead a group in the area because I had gotten out of the military to be a mom before getting deployed to the 'Great Sandbox'. Following my own advice I decided to go ahead and send them an email explaining my situation anyway and see what I could do.

"I may not be able to provide the same peer support as someone who has been deployed, but I do know that I am great at creating environments"

Lo and behold if I was NOT shot down right away. I have a phone conference for Monday afternoon. I am very excited and a little nervous.

After looking through the local resources I feel that Vets4Vets will fit in here wonderfully. We have Wright Patterson AFB plus Army and Marine units here that deploy regularly. There are a LOT of active duty, veteran, and reservists individuals in this area. I am surprised that there isn't a group here already! Additionally, I really think that the experience of going through one of these workshops would be extremely valuable to give me a better idea of what is going to be needed for the future. I can only hope.

From their website:

Mission
Vets4Vets is a non-partisan veteran organization dedicated to helping Iraq and Afghanistan-era veterans feel good about themselves and heal from any negative aspects of service and war through the use of peer support.

Vision
Our primary goal is to help Iraq and Afghanistan-era veterans understand the value of peer support and to regularly use peer support to express their emotions, manage their challenges and ease their reintegration into society. Our vision is that anytime a veteran needs to talk with someone who really understands, a local Vets4Vets peer support group is available at no cost. We envision Vets4Vets being a common name in the minds of all veterans as a place where they, and their comrades, can go to heal.

We Believe:

• Sharing personal experiences with those who have shared similar experiences is a powerful healing tool.


• Peer support does not require professionals.


• Peer support can take place in many formats including weekend workshops, one-on-one and in small or large groups.


• By taking equal and uninterrupted turns we benefit by both listening and speaking.


• By expressing the feelings associated with our experiences, we help each other heal.


• In providing an environment that is confidential, safe, and accepting.


• Taking part in positive community action, of their choosing, empowers veterans to further promote healing and reach out to other veterans.


• Use of drugs and alcohol hinders real emotional healing.

I really believe that my goals fall right in line with their approach. I sincerely hope I can work with them.